Brexit (The return of....)


It looks as though we’re going to be running short of strawberries unless arch brexiteers like IDS, John Redwood & Jacob Rees-Mogg roll their sleeves up & get picking.


I shall open up an artisan strawberry grow, nurture and harvest commune. Trendy hipsters will pay me for the privilege of the life enhancing experience as I clean up financially. Strawberries are the next coffee.


You are Tory Jesus and I claim my £5. I will spend it on timber, hammer and nails…




Be sure to insist that all employees are (or were) UKIP supporters. They deserve these jobs, having created the vacancies.



And you’re a great shopper, where do you get that lot for less than a fiver?


I’ll use shoddy materials. It is austerity chic…


Good, maybe then the farmers will pay realistic wages.


But then the supermarkets would have to pay realistic prices for their produce, and then so would we…


Given that most farmers are already getting massively shafted by the supermarkets, there’s going to need to be change further along the supply change before that’s realistically going to be an option.


British retailers have one of the largest margins in Europe, that is where we lose the wages.


Time was …

When I was a kid most of the strawberry pickers were Brits (I know, I was one of them) and commercial strawberries were an occasional treat.



The demand for migrant fruit pickers is due to growers now having a six month season. When it was a 2 month season in the early 90s and before, then the work was usually done by students and local casuals.

A six month season precludes students, and locals don’t want six monthly work because it shafts their benefits and tax credit arrangements.


That would not make the shareholders happy


I suspect they would rather expand the Isle of Wight tomato model…


This is deeply unacceptable. How will Mr. MWS feast on Strawberry Muffins? How will Dealer scum begin the day without a strawb in their breakfast champers? There simply must be a solution! Fortunately Stronzetto has the answer






I heard this on the radio this morning, could help but feel a little schadenfreude.

What a plonker