Covfaffe - the road to despair, calling at futility and disappointment

I bought the Tesco gold at work, to save a few bob.

We all agree that it smells of smoked sausage.

I have people who can identify it every time just by the smell of a cup… it has happened over three different jars so it’s no one off!

I can’t drink it now.

poor planning - if it’s that important just sling an aeropress and a decent bag of coffee in your luggage.

First batch of my Xmas present coffee subs lands this week

In the cup it’s got a big, juicy apricot up front, with plenty of golden sugar sweetness. This is a beautifully well balanced cup which you’ll just want to drink and drink, but if you do manage to leave it to cool down a little you’ll see that apricot shift into sweet orange, with hints of dried fruit and cashew nuts on the finish.
Country: El Salvador
Region: Apaneca-Ilamatepec mountain range
City: Santa Ana
Farm: Los Andes
Farmer: Juan Jose Ernesto Menéndez Argüello
Altitude: 1,700 m.a.s.l.
Variety: SL28
Processing system: Washed

Single estate fresh roasted ready to grind. You can plug your alu caps where the sun don’t shine.

Fuck me - you’ve morphed into Jilly Goolden!

1 Like

Get that machine revvin’, Jim :heart_eyes:

1 Like

Suppliers banter that… not even got it to taste yet. They are usually spot on with the notes, though.

I’ve had strawberry, tomato, and honey notes before and they all taste exactly as advertised!

did you roast and degas yourself?

Eh.

These come roasted only as the supplier has limited stock (usually a test sample of a new farm or as a leftover).
I tip the bag into an Airscape canister which has a valve lid.

When I roast my own I degas in bags or similar valve lid cans.

Sounds a bit like my Lidl DeCaff instant, :+1:

1 Like

That’s what I use at work of an afternoon. You can buy decaf beans but it’s a pricey faff. Limited choice.

It’ll be, “The smell of sweaty sock, wet dog and/or urine soaked rag” next :roll_eyes:

1 Like

You could do these for Starbucks.

Espresso: burnt-piss aroma slowly evolves into a battery-acid aftertaste
Americano: weak Espresso
Latte: acrid taste tempered by gone-off milk and a slimy mouthfeel; like a drunk horse came in your mouth
Capucino: like the Latte, but leaves a dirty brown mark on your face.

6 Likes

cappuccino

Kuffy

I do love the HasBean write-ups, he comes across pleasingly mad.

I have a Pact coffee subscription now, which works well. I really like the way they send the coffee to a schedule, but I can easily change it if I’m running out or want to delay for a week. Keeps it fresh.

How does the HasBean sub work?

Pretty much as you want, and as regularly as you want.
And you can press stop and postpone if you have too much.

This is the limited quantity, SSSSS

Effectively a chance to hoover up what they send, but it’s fixed at a bag a month for a year. You don’t get to choose.
The bonus is the coffees are pretty much all superb, and much more per bag if they stocked as a proper bean.
Lots of cup of excellence samples, or test harvests. Stuff he hasn’t got enough of to advertise openly.

As for the write ups, he is usually on the nail taste wise, and rarely makes it up! Also, suppliers like Steve give a damn about the farmers and visit most of the small estates direct before stocking.

1 Like

I love a good coffee and happily I work with an absolute fiend. Hasbean is his roaster of choice and most days we have a different variety. He uses an aeropress and a Knock grinder, which is a phenomenal thing. @Jim you need one!:+1:. I find the tasting notes pretty accurate actually and haven’t had any I haven’t enjoyed.

A while back my colleague was using a Kalita dripper and kettle and I have to say, sometimes the results were amazing and better than the aeropress. Trouble was, it takes quite a bit of concentration to brew properly and we were finding that difficult with other people sharing the kitchen! Done right a dripper is another level though and I have been meaning to get mine out and give it another go.

1 Like

I’ve got a knock!
It’s all I need…

Along with scales with a built in timer, like the hario. I use a clever coffee, a drip or press pot, or a vac pot. Try the vac pot if you can, as the coffee out of it is like filtered cafetière… both in colour and taste!

Downside of these are they are like trying to find truffles… I have the travel Feldgrind version too.

1 Like

how fine does the knock grind? I am looking for a grinder that’ll grind Turkish fine, my Rancilio won’t get fine enough nor does the porlex hand grinder.

ATM I am having to buy pre-ground Turkish coffee for my Turkish coffee maker. None of the usual roasters can supply anything that fine

Not much goes that fine as it’s a gnats chuff off the burrs touching and meltdown. Stuff that fine goes stale quick too, so grinding at source will make a difference.
I’ve never tried with it, so can only suggest talking to the suppliers.

They were impossible to get a reply from when I ordered a while ago. And they had stock once in a blue moon and you had to be quick!

May be better now. It was very much a cottage industry, but great quality.