Mince Pies? In March? Grounds for divorce. Move out immediately and take all the HCBs with you.
Haven’t seen that episode of Grand Designs.
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Ooh I meant HCBs. My brain hurts.
You need better drugs
Today I was given a slice of Simnel cake at the pre funeral wake of my departed colleague
This smorgasbord of delight has just been placed aside me in bed…
Toasted and then a secondary roast to ensure a superheated molten cheese consistency. Note the pair of a more traditional jam topped (albeit an inconsistently spread) bun to offset the savoury hit.
Initial inspection looks to indicate they may be drier than a camels tit.
I may ask her to move to her parents for a while until I come to terms with this desecration.
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Yep. Palate has been totally scratched to fuck. No spices to speak of, dried out fruit… an exercise in futility.
Akin to eating wire wool topped with white phosphorus.
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Besmirching a HCB with jam and/or toasted cheese! You degenerate. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour. I presume the military arm of the HCBOC will be around to administer the birch to you for outraging the moral order and gross abuse of baked goods.
Yeah these ones are fucking up at the moment, I may be upgraded soon to the really scary ones
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I’m currently contemplating a peanut butter and jam HCB.
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You’ll be in the obituaries section shortly, along with the guy who invented Hawaiian pizza.
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Flavourwise, I reckon that could best be described as ‘busy’.
A light application of Marmite really lifts the flavour of peanut butter and provides a nice contrast to the sweetness of the jelly… PBJHxBs FTW 
I tried an HCB with the thinnest smear of jam today but it rather defeats the object masking the spice as it does. I might as well eat a toasted bap or currant bun if there’s going to be jam involved… Strong flavours don’t work on HCB so be gone with your marmite & peanut butter nonsense. Philistines.
However, it has made me determined to make a more highly spiced version with extra fruit this weekend.
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WTF is that? You turned all Yank now?
Unless of course you are looking at the remains of a pot of jellied eels or calves foot jelly
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Why do you need to have three cups of tea with one portion of HCBs?
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Ah, you’ve gone for the in-store bakery variant. The ones I’ve been eating are the factory fodder in the green packaging.
70p for 4. Some of those we have been tasting are 8 times the price of these! These are comparable taste wise, not stodgy, nice and crispy when toasted. They are slightly under spiced maybe and they have less of a variety of fruit but bloody hell!
I looked for a different variety but these were they only ones there. It’s a small outlet in the West End and I don’t think they have a bakery in house.