Nice one!
I’ve got an MTB, I’m 24stone, so a road bike just isn’t happening. Surrounded by great trails and the South Downs national park, an MTB is a good thing here anyway. My record so far is 16 miles off road. Want to get past that next weekend. Gone in a notch or two on my belt. Will be light enough for my scales soon. haha!
I am confus
Best thing I did was find an event to enter. Focuses the mind on the task at hand.
Or summat next summer.
Put your entire speech onto powerpoint.
Make sure that the slides are full of text that is so small only those very close can read it.
Read directly from your slides with your back to your audience.
Make sure you get the ‘straight after lunch’ slot
This should captivate your audience 
Sorted, thanks 
You should deffo mention the blog. People like that sort of thing.
hmmm, will think about it. probably need something like that for motivation, i agree
The test will begin at 10pm GMT
They have one in the summer called the epic summatorother. They have photographs and you get a medal and a t-shirt. And I believe they have foodstops. You like food don’t you?
As much as anyone here.
Thanks for the link, I’ll sign up for one in the new year I think. not sure I could do a 30miler yet!
That is the idea. You can’t do it yet, but you will have to put the effort in to do it by then.
BTW the food on a lot of the road sportives is mostly flapjacks and fig rolls. Yum yum.
Van Morrison would be proud 
This is best done using a laser pointer to highlight each word that you are reading as you read it. It is important to assume that your audience are too stupid to read and to make this fact abundantly clear to them.
More sage advice. Cheers fellas, feel like I’m on to a winner now.
Fuck sakes don’t talk about this, you’ll bore the cunts senseless 
Start with a joke about how your talk will be 2.5 times as long as planned. No one will have heard that before.
Drop the mike and walk off.
People may think you are cool?
Or useless. It’s a gamble.
9/10. Fuck Berrgerac & his Dad. Never did watch it.
