Park like a cunt (and other driving fuckwittery)


Where’s the satisfaction in That?


Not everywhere. My folks have a three bedroom flat in an area with many other similar flats. Each is allocated a single parking space, which means the road is parking carnage.

The planning decision was taken to promote public transport. Never seen a bus in all the time I’ve been there.


Rarely a day goes by without someone parking over our dropped kerb in front of the house, in fact there’s one there right now as type.

I had a row with a guy earlier this week who insisted that if there are no yellow lines, he could park where he wanted.

I had to explain to the cunt the law on obstructing access :roll_eyes:


Chastity belts?


Yes, grammatically it was a bit shit :smile:


As long as you don’t have to go out, might be funnier to just report him so he gets towed/fined. At least that costs him real hard cash / pain.


Should have spat on the car windscreen


Unfortunately, the police in Ilford don’t have have a tow away facility, the nearest one is too far away - it was explained to me once by a chatty PC when I did call the cops to get a car shifted. He just ticketed the car. Trouble was, when the cunting owner finally showed up the next day and saw the ticket, he rang our doorbell, threatened to punch me and come back later to slash my tyres/key my paintwork :frowning_face:


Jim, you really need a dog


Fucking hell. :rage:


I did report the threatening behaviour to the cops as well, but didn’t hear anything back from them. :roll_eyes:


That level of selfishness really boils my piss. We get the shite parking and abuse regularly from people ‘just popping into the Doctor’ over the road or ‘just popping up to the shops’ on Allerton Road. I nearly missed a scheduled appointment at Clatterbridge because of this. The bloke told me to fuck off when I pointed out I couldn’t get out to my medical appointment because he blocked me in while he was at the Doctor for 45 minutes. However, one of our neighbours is ex-police and heard the exchange. He explained the situation to his colleagues who are red-hot on this. The bloke who swore at me got a visit from plod too I believe who delivered a ticket and a stern talking-to. Many tickets have been handed out, which I take a childish level of satisfaction from :smiling_imp:.


There’s an example of it working the other way here. There’s a street near the town centre which would be very popular for parking. It’s nice and wide with Victorian houses down just one side, the houses having no off-street parking whatsoever (hedged front gardens in a conservation area). So there’s no access for anyone to block. The residents, of course, have to park on the street. When they’re out in the car they leave their wheelie bins on the roadway reserving their place for their return. The street is largely in the ownership of the local housing association who use the relatively large houses to accommodate families who might have troubled backgrounds. I suspect that moving a wheelie bin so you can perfectly legally park your non-resident’s car on the public highway would be, um, ill-advised.



Take a picture of the car, when he/she comes back take a picture of them and then if they threaten you video it on your phone. Tell him you have internal and external CCTV and to bring it on.


When I go shopping,I just park in peoples drives


Yes but people feel their lives and social standing have been enhanced by hosting the mighty Astra.


Install some of Elon Musks flame throwers in a turret on top of your house.

or weaponise your speakers and use the plasma to zap the offending vehicles.


My neighbour was objecting to a planning application to turn a local house into two flats “because of the extra cars it will bring, not enough parking”

He failed to see the irony of him owning three vans and two cars.


You’re wrong. The abusive humour on here normally has class. There’s a difference between the humour on here and Neanderthals on the football terraces singing about Jimmy Saville, gassing certain religions etc etc. Calling someone unknown grandfather a paedo falls into the Neanderthal category.