Look at this dipstick displaying a rather cavalier attitude to road safety…
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Black BMW parked on my driveway nice and neatly today. Jackie was out so the BMW wasn’t an issue.
An hour and a half later Jackie arrived back and parked behind the BMW. Eventually, the owner came back and was obviously keen to get away as she did this: .
Yep, she chose to drive down our driveway, across the pavement, do a u-turn into the main road and plough up our lawn.
LOL, I’m surprised they didn’t get stranded on that!
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I’m not interested in gardening as a rule, but the skid marks are an apt souvenir of this person’s attitude.
I trust you reported them for criminal damage?
Couldn’t you have encouraged one of your Jack Russells to leave a nice doggie “present” on her bonnet?
After you reported them for trespassing.
I would have let the tyres down at the very least if I had an hour and a half to wind myself up 
Pretty sure that’s a criminal offense, so probably not worth it. Dog turds are far better.
Diminished responsibility Your Honour 
Especially if located by the cabin air intake…
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… or there’s the box of carpet tacks that you carelessly dropped, upon returning from B&Q, in the shock of discovering that someone had stolen your driveway.
No problem because “run flats”.
…and because we don’t “do” carpet grippers.
Meh! I was dealing with a BMW driver. There is no way I could possible impinge upon her selfishness (she had a client and has to earn a living 
) without demeaning myself by behaving in an equally poor way.
I have poor impulse control, so disregard this, but there is no way that someone who did that on my property would be coming back to a car that didn’t have some very expensive damage “accidentally” done to it.
Un-fucking-believable! 
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Or under the door handles.
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I’d give it the Aussie bowler treatment if it happens again…
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To who?
Not a police matter.
You mean hurl stuff at it really accurately until it shits itself, blubs and beats a hasty retreat?
If you want me to take sandpaper to it, well that is allegedly a thing only Strayan top order batsmen would consider doing.
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Too immediate. You want them a mile down the road when the engine warms them up enough to get past the feu d’orange.
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