I can’t be arsed, sort your own shit out 
Excellent thread idea. My personal preference is for home baked hot cross buns because they are useless for eating and they have just the right delicious abrasiveness 
Flushing is an issue…
Swan necks only in this house.
As found in oz cricket pavilion changing rooms…
This thread could run and run 
And for those that like shitting on threads (mentioning no names 
) this could be the perfect solution…
It’s not Velvet, which I find best
I find this to be excellent for clearing the chalfontsl
:
We have Aldi’s bestest bargain poop roll.
looks like the aldi on we favour - fab vfm and soyb
This thread really is scraping the bottom…
Nicky from home bargains.
It had poor clag pickup, smeared badly, but at least your fingers didn’t go through it 
Dear Auntie AA,
Bog roll at work is pretty decent but I have been forced to investigate “an over wiper”.There is a man in my building who swipes through half to 3/4 of a big roll per sitting. Whilst I applaud his extravagance I am also concerned he is somehow wounded / leaking. I also hate him as I have lost x 3 pairs of socks when caught short only to be faced with a brown tube hanging on the wall. What should I do?
Stab the cunt to death.
That level of selfish inconsideration deserves death - ideally an excruciatingly slow and exquisitely painful death 
Agreed - Fatwa issued.
Superfresco, chunky. available from all good branches of B&Q.