Remember when men went out to work with a pack of fags and a wallet? Now every fucking one is loaded down like a porter on a Victorian expedition up the Zambezi.
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Sir appears to think he’s still living in 2014 and has made our designer retreat into his Safe Space for a good cry 
Once Sir has apologised in suitably remorseful terms with his Coutts card, we can perhaps discuss something in transparent brown vinyl with genuine Ice Bear fur trimmings around the below-waist access slots - teamed, I would suggest, with something suitably veiny from our Bad Dragon range of vibrating-buttplug Wellington Bootage.
Searingly stylish in both town and country 
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Ahh! I see sir prefers the Brighton FC shirt for such purposes. A wise choice if I may say so.
Noted,
I’ve met your designers sort before, all Nathan Barley and no knickers. It is pitiful to turn one’s back on the classics non? I look forward to shattering his tender ‘vision’ in person, perhaps then he will comprehend there is no safe space.
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Do you carry these in your inventory?
I see what you did there.
But surely only canvas and webbing will cut the mustard ?
https://www.flightstore.co.uk/images/flying-tigers-duffel-bag-p10477-58446_image.jpg
Or, at a pinch, goat leather
VB
Ugh! How Monstrous! How Arriviste! How Nouveau . . .
He will pretend not to enjoy that, you must persist, as persist you no doubt will…
Nouveau is at the bleeding edge, right there and up it…like my new briefcase
You will regret it.
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I agree with her 
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Do they come with a matching suit with revolving bow tie and flower that squirts water?
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Sometimes a shoe can make you more of a cunt than you are
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Where on earth where you looking to find them?
I googled ‘shitty purple men’s shoes’ with google images and even the most powerful search algorithm in the world couldn’t find any thing quite as bad as those.
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Not always though, eh ?
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True
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Better off getting a more conservative colour and adding a dainite brand, coloured sole. That way you can change it if you get fed up.
Buy those and you are out of options. When you get fed up should be minutes, but it won’t be more than weeks.
No you won’t. The shoes maketh the man !
But what will they make him?