Maturity has taught me that there is only one valid reason for a middle aged man to buy a bike - to strap 20 pounds of explosives to it and ride it into the Houses of Parliament. I'm keeping that option in reserve for my misanthropic dotage.
Sadly, the motorcycle industry does not cater for the likes of me. This is a pity, as I would happily subscribe to 'What Two Wheeled Instrument of Fawkesian Destruction'.
Don't mind me. Carry on.