The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of shit from Twitter


#266

??? :hushed:


#267

#268

Fixed for you Dave.


#269

Thanks mate.:hugs:


#270

I know it’s been around a few years but this tickled I…


#271

#272

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18057044_1351573374922976_378661662680726942_n.jpg?oh=a43ee374d3d254f044d034f33077921b&oe=5987FDE0


#273

Is that some hipster restaurant eating tool?


#274

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17991803_457828677891024_2180725793311968728_n.jpg?oh=65755028624b14cb30622d0020c0c760&oe=599465D9

I’m going to Hell :disappointed:


#275

If Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass’ last sandwich they’d both be alive now


#276

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18157754_10154722520948246_827646660720732877_n.jpg?oh=f68e270b523bda3d3535883fb4314a75&oe=5984908E


#277

My dad always told me ‘don’t be quick to find faults.’

Good man, terrible geologist.


#278

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked “Do you have any luggage?”.

The photon replies, “No, I’m travelling light.”


#279

Oof :rolling_eyes:


#280

Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!"
The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!"
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we’re lost!"
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
“A cat,” Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells "Hey! This cat is dead."
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”


#281


#282


#283

This might help https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/qt-uncertainty/ but I can’t be certain.

Actually, on a point of detail, I think you are allowed to know both the position and the speed provided you’re completely uncertain about the mass (or wavelength, if that seems more appropriate).

VB


#284

Ba dum tish!


#285

But if you are measuring the position and speed then you must know mass / wavelength of the beam you are using to make the measurement. So on contact, while the position and speed of the object will change your parameters will remain the same.

Always thought Heisenberg and Schrödinger had a sense of humour :smiling_imp:

I love the way shit jokes can take us.