The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of shit from Twitter
Becuse u also want ban.
A regular in a pub is sick on himself during a lock-in with the landlord.
“shit, the wife says if i come home covered in my own sick again, she’ll leave me.”
The landlord, quick to realise that the wife subsidises the alcoholism of his best customer, acts immediately.
“here, take this twenty pound note, tell her it’s for dry cleaning, from the man who was sick on your jacket.”
The drinker goes home to his wife, who is furious. “you’ve been sick on yourself again! that’s it i’m leaving!”
The drinker hands her his jacket, saying wearily: “look in the pocket. there’s twenty pounds for dry cleaning from the man who was sick on my jacket.”
His wife carefully removes the money. “hang on,” she says, “there are two twenty pound notes here!”
“Ah yes,” says the drinker, “the other one’s from the man who shat in my trousers”
The old ones are the best ones
If you’re looking for new ones you are in the wrong place.
CAN THE ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?
WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER. A YOUNGISH BLOKE. HE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HIMSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HIS GENTLEMAN BITS. HE IS OFFERING AN iPHONE 7+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN iPHONE 5S AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH IT CAUSE ITS SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON!
Now now don’t diss capitalism. It’s the bigly best thing there is.