The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of shit from Twitter


#1394


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#1398

That’s in Bristol that is.


#1399


#1400


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#1403

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.

You bitter?

Yep, bit him too.


#1404

image


#1405


#1406

A Chinese takeaway has been vandalised, in what police are calling an act of Wonton destruction.


#1407

A man boarded an aircraft at London’s Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and - bingo! - she took the seat right beside him.
“Hello”, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?”
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business. I’m going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States.”
He swallowed hard.
Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really”, he smiled. “What myths are those?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed, when, in fact, it’s the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.”
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable, and blushed. “I’m sorry, l do apologise” she said. “I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name!”
“Tonto,” the man replied. “Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.”


#1408

That joke originally started ‘A man boarded a trireme at Ostia bound for Herculaneum’…


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#1410

That was posted two weeks ago on this very thread! Although the last one was for southern Rail.
Just shows that the North is always behind the times.


#1411

Just running late.


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#1413