The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet)





The old ones are the best.


Thing is though is that they would mostly appear not to be the best at all. It is a rubbish saying.


Fair point.


That is definitely not the best which is why I posted it on this humour slurry pit. We have threads for things that are properly funny. The scrapings from ATOC’s legendary bucket are what ends up here…




Went to restaurant last night the waitresses came over and said “Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?”
“Yes please” I replied…
After a cough to clear her throat she went…“THIS TOWN (AHH AHHH) IS COMIN LIKE A GHOST TOWN”



I bought Lou one of these

She loves it


This is topical, timely even (:disappointed:):






Thought about putting this in the Football thread but as it is about Villa the shit joke thread seemed the better place for it despite its obvious age and decrepitude.




I’ll deal with you later…

:slight_smile: :wind_blowing_face::upside_down: :wind_blowing_face: :slight_smile: :wind_blowing_face::upside_down: :wind_blowing_face::slight_smile: :wind_blowing_face::upside_down:



I had a bit of a moment t’other night. Got a bit introspective. Thoughtful. Maudlin’…

And then…

  • I got to wondering what some sounds would taste like.
  • What if mirrors are portals to another universe but you can’t get there because your reflection blocks you? Maybe that’s because it is bad over there? But it’s not great here… Maybe I am the reflection? :confused:
  • What if birds aren’t actually singing? What if they’re screaming because they’re afraid of heights?
  • What if musical instruments really are alive, as we believe some musicians can make them? What if that sound is them screaming in pain when we ‘play’ them?
  • What if we learned from birth ot walk on our hands instead of our feet? And did everything with our feet and toes? Would cars have been designed the way they are? What would they look like?

Sadly, that really is the sort of stuff that goes through my mind far too often…