The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of reposts of reposts

'Twas bad enough to clog the humour toilet and disrupt the amusement sewer with the joke equivalent of a fatberg.

:worried:

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Meh!

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https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18425233_1537277559650334_1241665889410040508_n.jpg?oh=c119787e64c0bf1bfe486b2d6fcacc04&oe=59B891C1

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A guy at work said ā€œWhat rhymes with orange.ā€

I said ā€œNo, it doesnā€™t.ā€

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Iā€™ve been trying to work out who keeps landscaping our back garden.

Last night they added a lot of soil.

The plot thickens.

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Nurse! The anestheticā€¦:confounded:

I liked that

Nurse! The humane killer!

My dad used to say ā€œTake everything with a pinch of saltā€

Good man; made horrible tea.

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Went for dinner last night in our new local curry house. The menu was a bit weird. I had pelican vindaloo. It wasnā€™t bad, but the bill was massive.

:confounded:

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The oddest beast is the pelican, itā€™s beak is bigger than the belly canā€¦

My flat mate was a road worker. He phoned to say heā€™d been fired for stealing from work
Nice bloke. I couldnā€™t believe it was true.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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First like from penance, who could have guessed :joy: