A regular in a pub is sick on himself during a lock-in with the landlord.
“shit, the wife says if i come home covered in my own sick again, she’ll leave me.”
The landlord, quick to realise that the wife subsidises the alcoholism of his best customer, acts immediately.
“here, take this twenty pound note, tell her it’s for dry cleaning, from the man who was sick on your jacket.”
The drinker goes home to his wife, who is furious. “you’ve been sick on yourself again! that’s it i’m leaving!”
The drinker hands her his jacket, saying wearily: “look in the pocket. there’s twenty pounds for dry cleaning from the man who was sick on my jacket.”
His wife carefully removes the money. “hang on,” she says, “there are two twenty pound notes here!”
“Ah yes,” says the drinker, “the other one’s from the man who shat in my trousers”