Barman: Anyone here called Jeff?
Jeff: Yes
Geoff: Yeos
According to the local news, a Woolton woman was admitted to Hospital earlier today with a Dyson nozzle attachment wedged in her fanny.
Although she’s being kept in overnight, doctors say she’s picking up nicely.
I feel slightly ill now. Sorry.
You should be ashamed
I know. It is a national disgrace. What can you do though?
Another from the local news:
A Speke woman is on currently on trial for murder charged with beating her husband to death with a guitar. In response to the judge asking, “First offender?”. Her response of, “No, first a Gibson, then a Fender” was interpreted as an admission of guilt.
Unfortunately, I’m here all week. Try the turkey, it is festive.
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it,
was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer,
Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph,
Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve,
Santa came to say,
“Rudolph with your cock so strong…
Fuck my arsehole all night long…!”
Then all the reindeer loved him,
A few of them were heard to say,
“Rudolph the well hung reindeer…
You’re so lucky Santa’s Gay”
Loving the belt - the right accessory can make or break an outfit.
Certainly hides a slightly tubby belly.
Might try it in the summer
You may need a bigger belt 