Almost as old as:
I went swimming at the local pool last weekend, and while there decided to have sneaky piss in the deep end.
The lifeguard must have seen me - he blew his whistle so loudly that I nearly fell in.
Wife: I have a bag full of my old clothes that I’d like to donate to charity.
Husband: Why not just throw them in the rubbish? Much easier and quicker.
Wife: But there are poor and starving people who could really use these clothes!
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into those clothes is hardly poor or starving.
Husband should recover from head injuries in the next couple of months.