The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet)





Pay and decay.


Like the quiet dryness of this chap as @SarcasticRover(onMars), so looking forward to this (imaginary, yet remembered in street interview) show.

“He was my understudy for 10 yrs. He did have a bad temper. And he did try to sleep with my wife. And my daughter. But none of that should disqualify him from hosting a kid’s show.”


Pontius Pilates.







In keeping with the new spirit of America, churches are removing all Jews, Arabs, Africans and immigrants from depictions of the Nativity.

That leaves them with a bunch of sheep following a jackass.





Looks like large parts of Auckland and Coromandel at the moment!


Took the shell of my racing snail in hope it’d make him more faster!
If anything though, just made him a bit more sluggish




The Rabbis’s wife

At Friday night services, Morris goes to his friend Irving and says, “I need a favor. I’m sleeping with the Rabbi’s wife. Can you hold him in synagogue for an hour after services for me?”

Irving is not very fond of the idea, but being Morris’ lifelong friend, he reluctantly agrees. After services, he strikes up a conversation with the Rabbi, asking him all sorts of stupid questions - just to keep him occupied.After some time the wise Rabbi becomes suspicious and asks, “Irving what are you really up to?”

Irving, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse confesses to the Rabbi, “I’m sorry, Rabbi. My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”

The Rabbi smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Irving’s shoulder and says, “You better hurry home, Irving. My wife died two years ago!”