The shit that doesn't merit its own thread (the resurrection)

[chelseadave]

"For whom the bell toils…

[chelseadave]

The hill that you crested was that not hiding them?

[mickbald]

I’ve only ever played golf once. I got round in 94.

I would have done much better but got stuck on the little windmill.

The plumber behind gave me a shit full of abuse.

[A_Touch_of_Cloth]

@chelseadave

The hill that you crested was that not hiding them?

Not with his wanky luminous golf top it wasn’t. We waited a good 5 mins after they were out of sight.

It is only a par 4 ffs should be well out of striking distance.

[anon14766838]

I though you were meant to launch a flare to warn people you were peeing off.

[A_Touch_of_Cloth]

@anon14766838

I though you were meant to launch a flare to warn people you were peeing off.

Remind me never to play with you.

[Rob998]

@anon14766838

I though you were meant to launch a flare to warn people you were peeing off.

Most golfists are well into enlarged prostate territory, so they would hardly have the urinary range to get past their own feet.

[crimsondonkey]

@A_Touch_of_Cloth

Quite pleased with this.

Hello David,

Please accept my apologies for writing this note as I know you have your hands full on a regular basis.

However, I would like to bring to your attention, and formally place on record, my frustration with two members who were playing in front of us today.

Myself and Peter XXXXX were off at 1.16 and this sorry tale concerns the two ball directly ahead of us.

Their play was horrifically slow to the point where we were teeing off on the 15th and they were on 16th tee ready to go. We played the 15th (poorly as per normal) and got to 16th tee box.

One of the group ahead was still visible, even after all this time, on the right, so we waited.

And we waited.

And still we waited, enjoying the mid afternoon sunshine and the odd middle-aged unexplained shooting pain. The group behind us were up on the green sinking putts left right and centre and still we waited.

Eventually, no player in front was visible (a rough estimate of around 5 or 6 mins) and no bell had sounded, so we decided to tee off as we wanted to at least finish before the bar closed.

Peter took the ‘Tiger Line’ on the right, resulting in centre of the fairway. I however, decided on a more cautious approach and hit towards the left. I ended up just past the filled in bunker on the left. As we crested the hill the bell sounded, and it had an sarcastic tone to it.

We had to wait again until the green was free, and I used this time wisely to select the best club that would allow me to miss the green and then proceeded to miss the green.

When I eventually did land on the green and was lining up my 30ft putt from the fringe a sarcastic heckle of ‘thanks for nearly hitting me with your tee shot, you have no etiquette’ was unleashed towards me.

I went to speak and explain that had I known he was within range I would not have teed off
and in 6 years of membership I have become adept at shouting ‘Fore’ and indeed my warning cries have become things of legend. I explained that not everyone rings the bell and enough time had passed ( the length of time we took to play the 15th plus the additional time we waited on tee until they were no longer visible) to be out of range of even my most dangerous tee shot… a thinned hook.

Cutting this torrid tale to the chase, the point of writing this note is

a) to ensure my reputation is maintained and not be-smirched by being potentially labelled a dangerous or aggressive player.

b) to ask if new players/members are made aware of course management when they pick up cards ie, it is competition day be aware of quicker groups etc.

c) I haven’t forgotten your radiators.

Hope your game is on the up.

Kind regards

ps It may well have been Peters tee shot that caused this issue as this was the only hole he actually managed to outdrive me. In which case a strongly worded e-mail to him from the Chairman highlighting his dangerous and aggressive play would be a good starting point.

Stuart

tl;dr

[Wayward]

Reading about someone’s golf problems is about as interesting as people talking about their dreams. Any more of it and you’re fucking banned.

[SAP7]

He’s not banned already?

Must have been a dream…

[Waxy]

Teed off, are we?

[Calmdown]

It’s just bunker mentality…

[vacdac]

Bunkum. More like!

[SAP7]

Storm in a tee cup

[anon14766838]

I’d make sure they putt up or shut up the whingers

[spacehopper]

This thread has gone a fairway to cheering me up.

[SAP7]

Join the club!

[B2T]

The WorldPoohSticks Championships on June 4th in Witney.

http://pooh-sticks.com/

One of the great riverside recreations.

[stu]

Looks like they have thrown some serious cash at tigger and friends

[B2T]

Indeed.