I would take the view that May should have met the victims, as did Khan, Corbyn, Her Maj & Co, and Andrea Leadsome (this week's dedicated human shield for May by the looks of it). If you want to lead, you should be prepared to cop the abuse when people are angry and deal with it. Anything else at best looks weak and at worst looks uncaring and grossly incompetent.
Gavin Barwell made himself look like an utter twat this morning too. I acknowledge that May is very unlucky to have chosen him just days before this appalling tragedy.