You never listen to me 
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Swap masks with someone half way through the evening and go and get bladdered
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Such a shame you didn’t know sooner. I could have got one of these for you. They’re popular in Glasgow.
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Sommmmmmmmmmmebody, stop me !
VB
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Gonna be a hell of a party…
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Stonzetto
Surely you explained to her that you might end up shagging somebody else by mistake? 
Looks like Trumps gonna get to play that Ltd edition (1 of 1!) Wu Tang album as the state seize control of this fools assets 
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Claire has a bit of a hangover:
I’ve tried to convince her to have some hair of the dog, but she’s intent on being a martyr…
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I’d like to suggest some brass band music
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I think we have the same sofas. 
Although mine obviously didn’t come with the additional ‘piper down’ accessory.
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Get some bloody-marys and a bacon sammidge into her 
Meanwhile, in the barren wastelands of my work email inbox…
"Dear Friend,
My name is Col. Hussein Harmush, An Army officer from Syria but now living with the United Nations on asylum in Canberra city of Australia. I got your contact from a Syrian - American Army officer who was critically injured in the ongoing bloody civil war in Syria but died last week while receiving medical treatment. I want to seek your assistance in the following ways:
(1). To assist me look for a profitable business opportunity in your country where I can invest to sustain my living until the ongoing civil war and political crisis in my country (Syria) is over.
(2). To assist me purchase a living home in your country, I have a sum of $5,000,000.00 USD (Five Million United States Dollars Only) with a financial institution in London. Should there be any need for evidence, or a proof of my seriousness and genuineness of this business opportunity, I have a Certificate of Deposit as a proof of fund for your confirmation.
Please kindly assist me to receive this $5,000,000.00 USD in your personal bank account to enable me come over to your country with my family for resettlement and onward investment. I will compensate you greatly for this help. I am also ready to associate with a local partner in your country provided your Government will grant me a Residence Permit after the funds hits your nominated Bank account. Could you please send me an email response to confirm receipt of this business proposal. Also kindly promise me that you will never betray me and my family after assisting us to claim this fund from the Bank in London. Thank you and may Allah bless you!
Thanks and Regards,
Col. Hussein Harmush.
Canberra Australian Capital."
Not seen one of these in a fair few years!
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Sounds legit
See if he wants to come to Lopwell
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Give him some Alpaca herding tips
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