You were on a boat?
Er, house.
Happy birthday!
2 Likes
Of course not.
Boats don’t have backs, they have sterns
1 Like
Wouldn’t have fancied flying through that stack…
M&S to be rescued by ‘scum’ dealers
3 Likes
The headline should read: Moves to guarantee a lie-in for AA members, except @rmsshipbroker. Steve can get up an extra half hour earlier as an object lesson to the malnourished. 
1 Like
Intestinal worms for the win.
1 Like
In accordance with this rise, an employment expert has suggested that overweight employees should be offered flexible starts and should have the right to sue employers if they are not offered jobs or promotions because of their weight.
Horse racing will be in fucking turmoil.
8 Likes
In fairness, every Schumann reference is oblique
1 Like
Genius
4 Likes
The last one is the best 
will this new style catch on?
A fucking apple would confuse most people on social meeja
4 Likes
In reference to Rossanne Barr and blaming medication for her racist tweet;
Farage tried blaming it on tiredness some years ago
2 Likes
