The first one was better. Properly whiny.
I’m thankful I can send my children to school without worrying about them being shot dead by a suicide-muppet who bought a gun in a supermarket.
Be glad you’re not a bit Muslim looking when United Airlines overbook a flight, and ask for “volunteers” to disembark to make room for their own employees…
Holy fucksticks
After our team looked for volunteers, one customer refused to leave the aircraft voluntarily and law enforcement was asked to come to the gate," the airline added.
“No one volunteered, so United decided to choose for us. They chose an Asian doctor and his wife.”
“The doctor needed to work at the hospital the next day, so he refused to volunteer,”
What kind of awful ejit moves out to the arse end of no fucking where? 
A bit too far South for my liking, but a cool job if you’re that way inclined 
If only we had not made some of the NHS workforce face unwelcoming, uncertain futures overnight.
Might be easier post to fill.
Have to be careful round that type of creature.
Love these two for being careful and reckless at same time
Amazing he survived that with his head still attached.
There’s that “shoe” thing again 
LOL
(Figures do not add to 100% as respondents often had more than one drink)
Good for him.
See post 1870. I assume the previous guy was kicking gunpowder down the hole?