Haha, I expect some inspired posting tonight then. GWS!
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Insertion methods vary but I’ve often found the simple bent double legs wide whilst singing eases passage. - Some inspiration 
Heal well Mr. Murti
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Thanks for the tip, the nurse recommended using cream (not supplied) without further explanation. I later wondered what type of cream - whipping, double, squirty, clotted or will Elmlea do? What cream is rectal friendly?
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Ice cream
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Ooh, that means flavours, 
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Chocolate?
Careful with the cookie dough or chocolate chip though…
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Paul, as you have had anal sex with a nurse today, I’m sure ATOS would declare you fit for work, so I would tone it down a bit…
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I think my eyes just watered…my Mother is hovering and wants to know what I’m doing on the phone…
Oh and try olive oil…
Louise says she swears by butter for slipping things in
Marlon Brando had the same idea
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Now in an Exeter curry house, looks good.
KY jelly 
As we plumbers are fond of saying…keep it greazy so it goes in easy! 
There was no feckin need for that ! Gratuitous FFS 
Greasy
Twit.
I was making it ryhme better !
Still one letter is wrong
Is that illiterate plumbers or ones that have had an education?