Today I have mainly been


Made it through the traffic to the tacky tranquility of ‘nirvana spa’ knocked up in the 80’s by the bovisesque look of things. I am currently lying on a heated lounger surrounded by bored housewives (I include my own in this equation) I can’t help wondering in this mock, roman, mock spar if more than a mock hand shandy is in the offing?


You could always be the catalyst to turn it into this


Caligula had the right idea, yes orgy for supper
Or a potential asbo. Life is short.


Less feet more teet


It seems the real ones in Rome are called Despar



Sit on that fountain in the middle and have a dump,should liven the place up


Those shorts are so not Mr MWS or even Mr EOtW


Still, nice to see that the fountain has a phallus rising up out of it. Is this mostly a girlie place ?

The older brother of a schoolfriend of mine used to swear that there was a pub somewhere in Sussex with a well-endowed classical male nude statue in the Ladies. Little did the girls know that the statue’s manhood was wired with a touch sensor which activated a brief and bright burst of the fairy lights strung around the outside of the doorway in the bar.



That’s no way to describe the AA :disappointed:


Having taken initial issue with the aesthetics of this drum I’m now certain this place Reeks of debauchery most perverse! The mock murals which offend the sensibilitys so hold a hidden secret. Observe if you will exhibit a

Note the sacred flute, the blindfold, the stiffened nipples of the thing transmit their intention. I have received your message you bastard of a mural the stiffening is near… but wait, let there be no confusion - look well upon Neptune

The mighty conch symbolising a gushing labia arrests the mind. I have a massage soon, I hold grave doubts my manners or decency can prevail


Gentlemen I have not a clue what the fuck is going on here. One thing seems certain I have stumbled into someone else’s tasteless mind garden made real. Just behind the sound of tinkling bells there is the subtle sound of heavy breathing. Clearly this is the work of a master cunt.


Surely you have an appropriate mental image you can conjure up when you need to hold the nether things in check ? If not then try this (I’m sure others can offer alternatives)

EDIT: Just the carpet would be enough to put me off my stroke.



Is that a Salt crystal lamp?





You are Kevin Costner and I claim my £5


Tonight I shall mostly be fishing for barbel on the Thames.


Fancy Southern expression for ejaculating into a river.


Summoning the very idea of Doris Karloff does it for me.

Extremely useful in those moments of premature arousal.

NB. Anne Robinson also acts as a good emergency substitute but is rarely needed once ‘Widdy’ has done her work.


Apologies if these should be in the Boilers thread.


Winning our doubles match 2 and 1. Into the semi finals now.

Still have slight helmet irritation.


I made it home on my bicycle without causing injury to myself or others.

Cannot decide what to drink next…

  • Ale

  • Leffe

  • Gin