Black vinyl - on the boots maybe
Ringwear - probably
Split seams - more than likely
Spindle marks - 
One careful owner - feck offā¦
Surface noise/scratches/needle marks - 
Typical Discogs ad by the looks of it.
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Those heels look either conical or shibata
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Iād dry bang that inside out.
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Iām somewhat curious about the vinyl for sale. This person might have eclectic tastes.
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I am sorry to report myself and Sam have broken up. Iām rather cut up about this but my wife said I was being cruel and to āKnock it on the headā there seemed little point in laboring the joys of troll with my second trimester wife so I let go with Loveā¦Sam on the other hand may well have other ideas, it would seem I am now the target of other perverse intrusions.
The latestā¦
Perhaps Sam thought I was being a little uptight? I can only pray the be-bolloxed minx packs it in before Wednesday or my newfound text buddies will be dragged through the mind gardens hedge.
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ā¦ backwards.
Seems deliciously appropriate. 
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Itāll be fine. You might want to bring the pets indoors for a day or two though.
VB
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He has cuffs and a baseball bat (ooh the back passage pain).
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So sheās available now?
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āHerā chocolate starfish is ready and waiting.
Also with front located grab handle for greater purchase.
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I rather like sam, but Iām not possessive. It feels good she might get some business from her efforts
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Iāll send a map to the dungeon
In fairness, that is not a badly turned ankle.
As Mr M.W.S. has been heard to mutter ā¦" Beauty is only a light switch away". 