Am I being hair-shamed? By a group of balding bastards?
Surely not. For the record …I’m not fucking ginger. 
Also, for the record… cheese should just be that. Cheese. By all means have it ALONGSIDE stuff, apricots or whatever, but please… in the name o’ the wee man don’t put stuff in it.
We’re better than that no?
mature cheddar cheese, sliced red onion, and tomato ketchup sandwich
for the record - I’d rather be bald than ginger 
Luckily, I am neither bald nor a ginge.
Ditto.
Get back on your toadstool.
Fortunately for you…
For the love of fuck, definitely don’t put your wee man in stuff, especially cheese (and in your case, fertile women).
Peanut butter, bacon, and grape jelly on toast (Elvis’ famous Fool’s Gold sandwich)
Peanut butter, bacon, and banana (another Elvis favorite, can be grilled in bacon dripping for added perversity).
Peanut butter and kosher dill pickle on rye bread.
this is jelly
This is jam 
Grape jelly definitely isn’t jam. One of those American abominations, I guess 
Related: peanut butter and marmalade is another good one.
How do you “grill” something in bacon dripping? 
My mistake, I forget that what you call grilling I would refer to as broiling. Griddle is the term I was looking for.
But jelly is a term properly used for semi-solidified material found in a jar where the juice of the fruit only has been used (i.e. crushed then strained), usually with added pectin. Think redcurrant jelly, quince jelly etc. Grape jelly fits in this category (but imho tastes awful…)
Broiling is a strange word. Always sounds as though it should somehow involve water.
Was puzzling over this at lunchtime today…
It is my feeling that the combined bacon and sausage sandwich is an abomination and is no doubt helping in the erosion of human decency.
A good bacon sandwich on its own, or a good sausage sandwich on its own are all that is needed. Mixing the two only takes away from both and gives nothing extra to the serious eater.
Only an amateur meatist would fall into this trap.
FTFY -
a sausage and bacon sandwich (with an added fried egg) is a sandwich dreams are made of
“fry” it in bacon fat
Don’t worry, I’ll have yours.
VB
Boolshit artist!
An egg atop any of the below is obviously good.
Just too much going on with bacon AND sausage is my gripe. A bacon sandwich deserves the stage on its own or with a good understudy (egg), not a jumped up johnny-come-lately looking to take over the lead role (sausage).