Yet another thread for the purposes of awarding a cockpunch


Speaking objectively I think it would be fair to say that it did. Yes. It definitely did.



Hard to say, as i put so much other stuff in chilli. I need to do one that is just the reaper to see what it’s actually doing.

Like Naga, possibly better in curry where the favour doesn’t get mashed into everything else. I find those get a bit overwhelmed in chilli as well.


I not really noticed the difference in flavour between Naga, Reaper or other hot peppers in a chilli, but that isn’t surprising as it has so many ingredients that mask the flavour.

You’d need a simple recipe like chilli Paneer to experiment with.

or how about making up some salsa, use same recipe just vary the chilli. Please report back when you’ve recovered.


Are you talking about suppositories again?


The absolutely heartless cunt who (while driving too fast through our village) ran over a mother duck without stopping. It was in such distress and was mortally wounded, so I had to put it out of it’s torment. I am a proper soft cock when it comes to animals and it breaks my heart to have to do this.
We are hoping that the 7 adolescents she was raising will be OK.

I would quite happily break the neck of the cunt in the Mini. But animals…:weary:


There really are some amount of scumbags about.


In contrast, I was driving down the M62 a few weeks ago, and near Warrington, the gantry signs came on, slowing us down to 40, with the message “Pedestrians in road”. I thought this might be workmen, or someone clearing debris etc.

No, a family of ducks was waddling across the motorway. Everyone slowed down and all but one of the ducklings made it.

The Mini cunt deserves all the bad karma they get.


Tough that, but you did the best thing by putting it out of its misery.

So, duck for tea then :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Wrong type of duck :angry:


I hope you sent the driver the bill… :duck:


WTF is the wrong kind of duck (apart from Bombay obvs)?

You can eat them all.


I presume the issue is that the driver was in a mini while @OzzyOzzyOzzyOiOiOi wanted duck au vin.



One that’s been bruised, battered and partly crushed by a cunt of a driver.


Fussy bugger.



Roast it Chinese crispy style and shred it. Loads of hoi-sin sauce and you’d never know.


Another shit driver needing a deep tissue massage of the gonads…

This morning I was nearly run over by the proprietor of a local shop which sells “Protein Powder” and the like. He is a short, very wide man. Unnaturally wide, some might say. I was crossing a side street about 30m from the main road when this white Audi T(wa)T came haring around the right-angled bend at high speed. He was forced to brake hard and actually stopped alongside me.

Had I been a second or two later, it would have been messy.

My reaction was to say “Slow down”, at which he placed his forefinger to his lips and said “Shhhh”. Puzzled by this, I repeated myself, adding that it was just before 9am and he was driving at excessive speed on a road on which lies an Infant/Junior school. Again he responded with the shushing. Obviously, given his bulbously misshapen, muscular frame his exertions in the gym have resulted not only in a stupidly large upper body, but also in a tiny brain and shrivelled genitalia.

Had I actually said this and not walked away, it would have been similarly messy.


A council spokesman said: "We are very sorry that this has happened. We expect our enforcement officers to show common sense and to use their powers sensibly.


A council spokesman said: "We are very sorry that this young girl’s dad went to the press and highlighted what humourless trouser-stains our despicable, jobsworth spunkbeagle enforcement officers are.



Daily mash in 3, 2,…


If they’re anything like the ones I’ve encountered, they’re on a per-fine commission. They’d serve a notice on a corpse given the opportunity.


Am I just being cynical or does the fixed penalty notice (clearly visible in the news report) not have Mr Andre Spicer (the girl’s father’s name) written at the top of it and has the date of birth not been photoshop-blurred out ? The daughter hasn’t been fined at all. The father has. Maybe this is a bloke who saw a way to make a quick buck and who took his daughter along for cover in case the authorities pointed out that there was a process to be gone through. “Mr Spicer said his daughter loved the idea of setting up a stall …”. He didn’t say she was the one who had the idea.