Why is that? Did he chuck up in your shed/brewhouse?
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If he did, he would be dead and burriedā¦oh, hang on 
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Jesus christ mate I feel your pain - since day one Iāve been the go-to for time-wasters, squeakers, wannabes and tyre-kickers of every stripe. I wonāt go into them all, but some of them have been truly breathtaking, and each and every on has gone on to let the world know what a MASSIVE cunt the dealer whose time they wasted was.
The worst of it, is it puts-off the genuine ones who are scared theyāll be tarred with the same brush if they simply choose not to buy somethingā¦ You cannot fucking win.
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Dear Dealerskum
I might have bought something but due to some other cunt, I now choose not to buy anything. I am offended by your attitude to people who donāt buy anything.
Yours
Upset of Oxfordshire
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Self-administered jabs to the man-vegetables. I am officially in the doghouse for apparently letting slip that Father Christmas might not actually be real.
Despite the fact that my daughter (8) has recently been questioning the existence of the aforementioned fat red fucker, an overheard conversation between me and grandma is the cause of an almighty spousal strop.
The Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are already dead to my daughter. By her age I was well aware of the facts concerning the origin of Yuletide gifts.
So, fuck it. Saint Nicholas can have one in the bollocks too.
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Fucking plagiarised by the chunder from down under 
. Back off the Santa gags chubster, that is my gigā¦
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Donāt worry. You have come to the right place. For an eyewateringly large amount of money (but surely domestic harmony is priceless ?) an award-winning forum member will dress up, turn up at your gaff and convince Waxyette Jnr that there really is a Father Christmas after all. Just make sure that anything he sits on is well-padded and is, ideally, centrally placed between your speakers. And you might want to turn the Vent-Axia on.
VB
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Do I need to supply pork?
Pope catholic ? Bears woods ?
VB
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You forgot to mention that Santa wears socks and sandals and sometimes Daisy Dukes (
) just in case he arrives incognito.
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Hmmm, Santa stands no chance.
She is already well trained to instinctively administer sharp, accurate kicks and punches to squishy underparts, and to also go for the eyes of any assailant or perceived threat.
Cunt 
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Stroppy spouse or fruit of loins ? Donāt tell me, they work as a team.
VB
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Fruit of loins has inherited her motherās vicious streak and her fatherās fast-twitch muscularity.
In our extension there is a tie-bar attached to the hip joints of the roof. She asks to be lifted up so she can bash out a few chin ups on it. 
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Iāve honed my radar for time wasters but this time one slipped through the net.
I should congratulate him really for outsmarting me. 
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Echo??
You could have a cunt customer of the month page on your website?
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Here are some to start with
VB
This was posted on facebook this morning
Our puppy Hugo has just eaten one of our sonās small socks. What should I do??
So, I replied
Buy him a new pair
Didnāt go down well at all. One replied
Ring vet
Ignore arsehole judgemental haters!
Humourless fuckers
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