Keep you calm to at least lunchtime that would.
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Cockpunch to the common cold virus - terminal stages of manflu here.
Please scatter my ashes in the eyes of the current government. Thanks. 
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I would like a sympathy card please. Yesterday, the washing machine ( Miele, please ignore my previous recommendations ) packed up. Today, the boiler packed up also to add to the festive fun. Despite having a service plan where they should be out within 24 hrs, we are booked in for Friday. Bah bloody humbug.
Are you getting the Miele repaired or going for a new one?
Repaired. Itās three years old, and covered until late 2019. We need a new dishwasher also, and I would very probably have gone for a Miele, but this has put me off.
This, and I donāt even have a cold (yet). As far as Iām concerned the existence of the common cold is absolute proof of the non-existence of a (loving) God.
VB
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U OK hun?
Dieing babe. Thay dont understan are suffring 
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If anyone is looking for the battery in a Transit, it is thoughtfully concealed under the front seat.
If anyone wants to remove the battery, for example to charge the cunting thing up, then simply take apart the cabin piece by fucking piece starting with the drivers seat to gain access to the solid bolts that donāt move.
Was like that scene from Any which way you can with Clyde throwing bits from the car.
Fuck Ford.
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Doesnāt it have a starting handle hun? 
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Ended up just getting a jump start.
Fuck Ford and anything that isnāt Siemens.
You need a multi-tool 
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Or maybe van owners who donāt get a new battery when the old one is on itās last legs? 
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To be fair, mildly funny 
Even after his āclearing dead Libyans off the beachā quip?
Iām sure Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe is in her cell pissing herself with laughter as we speak.
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yep and i doubt it.