Don’t go and see if they put you in detention 
3 Likes
Turn up with your earbuds in and 5 Live on. Swear loudly when stuff goes well/badly (in the football, not your son’s report).
VB
take a doner kebab in with you.
And a few cans…
1 Like
Several ‘jazz cigarettes’ might also create the right impression/alleviate the boredom.
Send Claire, I am sure there will be plenty of other ‘one parent families’ present
Clearly you need to go in just Speedo’s and a baseball cap with a getto blaster on 5 live.
Arrive at 6.30, full Brazil kit (No 10 shirt). Have taxi waiting outside. As you enter the hall, catch your foot on a table leg, go down grimacing. Roll over at least 4 times. Be sure to have the head teacher personally helping you to your feet & out to the waiting cab. Promise not to sue. Should be home by 7. Job done & sympathy points earned.
15 Likes
Corporate stupidity 
Tell them to fuck off. No further action required.
South Eastern trains, complete pile of stinking shit.
Whoever is responsible for the roadworks around the entrance to the Heathrow tunnel. I had to collect my brother and his family from T3 today. In the end I was reduced to cheating (lane 1 on the spur then weaving into the tunnel through the coaches at the roundabout. It’s a huge international airport. Blocking the access is unforgiveable.
VB
Cockpunch to me for avatar sig reasons
11 Likes
Presumably you made a trunk call to the *AA
*No, not this one
4 Likes
I had to answer the question ‘was i more than 1/4 mile from home?’
1 Like
I might have struggled with that one 
3 Likes
FFS
No words
1 Like
Jesus, what is a matter with these people? 