Thank you, Harry Carpenter
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Luckily nothing much happened today, so there was plenty of room for the big hosepipe story in tomorrows mail and Express;
Wankers
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Will it affect house prices or give us cancer?
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Meh! Cockpunch to deja vu…
I peaked too soon.
More appropriater 
The driver of this boat. Showing off to the ladies and ends up looking like a stupid cock…
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Well that went well!
Rubber dinghy for that guy in future!
Chope again, not content with trying to block the upskirt bill he’s now objected to an event in the HoC for a womens conference.
“tighten up the language” my arse this bloke clearly has an issue with women or wants notoriety by just being a cunt
I vote the latter
Imagine having the task of trying to manage the Tories PR at the moment.
Has an issue with women, and wants notoriety, and is a cunt.
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Or that
Charlene White should get one for saying “tenderhooks” on the 6.30 news this evening 
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This twerp and others of his ilk…
In-flight bacon roll row passenger fined - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-44874908
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Looks like Dale Winton. Without the tan and the death, though.
True. The reporter can also have a cockpunch for using the phrase ‘the breakfast treat’.
Straight out the novice reporters dictionary, just under ‘romp’.
He should be made to travel everywhere on National Express for a year.
Cunt.
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someone on this project needs a CP