Sorry to hear that Terry.
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The current Mrs Cloth when she returns from work.
I’ve just discovered this lurking in the kitchen skullery…
No good will come from this device.
Oh and sorry to read your news Terry.
Ha ha juice yourself to wellbeing - as if 
You’ll be fine. Here’s a selection of smoothie & booze recipes…
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As I mentioned in a previously immolated thread, ice cream milkshakes made with those are like heroin.
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Ahh…out of darkness cometh light. 
Quite.
It reeks of pre-meditated healthiness. I am going to keep schtum about finding it and await it’s introduction.
Save the knowledge for when you’re falling behind in a particularly spiteful argument.
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Yes, I will keep my powder dry.
I will counteract her dark ‘juicing’ forces with my toasted sandwich maker I got for Christmas.
Ying to her Yang.
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once you have squirted molten cheese all over the place, you could scoop it up and make a smoothie from it…I see a new Heston on the horizon…
You could keep schtum about finding it and move it to somewhere where she can’t find it. Or, if you can find the receipt, return it, spend the money on its weight in chocolate and leave that in its place.
Hang on though. She’s bought herself a healthy juicer and you a ‘cholesterol chum’ toastie maker ? Has she taken out any insurances on you recently ?
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Very ominous. Do you live in Midsomer?
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There have been mutterings for a while about us both eating better. This may be the start.
Like the idea of filling it with something tho. 
Try it on the bucket of scrap copper you have in the garage
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You need less iron in your diet
plumbers leftovers, yum… now where is my Global knife
me…I should not have eaten eggs at lunchtime and sprouts with dinner… even the cats don’t like the emissions
Selling stuff…
Put a sales ad on the wam for an iPhone with all the details and then get a PM from someone asking for exactly the same info.
“Thank you for our enquiry. The information you ask for is in the original advert. If the information doesn’t answer your enquiry, please do go fuck yourself as you are clearly too stupid to be allowed to use real money.”
Should just about do it.
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