Is that for self bukake?
MrsKettle appears to have bought this
from that there Ebay. Forget barbershop, forget jazz flute Vivaldi or sixth form rock Messiah, my musical experience has just reached a new low.
KerenâŚ
Iâll see your Keren and raise you a Siobhan
Good that you are putting a brave face on it. You may want to explore couplesâ counselling once the initial shock and crushing disappointment have worn off.
Well tailored venom more welcome than no venom at all.
Fucking shitty wanky fuckwitted scrote sucking government gateway can have a massive toe punt to their septic shrivelled fucking knackers.
Theyâve managed to delete/lose my LTD company info and was told to recreate it but itâs now saying that my HMRC UTR doesnât exist or is wrong.
Fucking nadger suckling bloated fuckweasel cock trumpeting bunch of cunts.
They are useless cock wombles, all of them.
Splendid cockpunching!
I tried to submit my tax return on 31st Jan. for 2015/16 (as usual, left to the last day posswible) and forgot that my registered phone number and email address with them were my old âworkâ ones and /I hadnât informed them of the change. Nobody there to speak to on the 31st (a Sunday IIRC) so contacted them on Monday 1st Feb to be told they would have to send a new password out by post and I would be liable for the ÂŁ100 late payment charge, although I could âappealâ
10 days later I get the password, but they then send the âverification codeâ to my old phone!
To be fair to them, after a lengthy phone call, they got me connected and waived the ÂŁ100 late fee, so theyâre not all bad.
I only started contracting in May 2016 after being made redundant. Set everything up and the portal said my self assessment for 2016/2017 would be due Jan 2018.
Got a letter through last week saying Iâve been fined ÂŁ100 for not submitting my 2015/2016 return.
Phoned them and said I was a permanent employee up till May 2016 so wasnât contracting or anything in 2015/2016, they said yep but you still need to submit a ÂŁ0 return for 15/16 but the system wouldnât have told you that. They did say the fine would be waived on appeal though.
Oh and donât even get me started on fucking IR35, fuckwits announce the changes a year ago and then release the decision making tool 3 weeks before the legislation starts.
Not trying to take the piss, but might it be easier to retain the services of an accountant who specialises in contractor finances?
I wouldnât dream of trying to do it myself.
I have an accountant who set it all up for me, he generates the payslips and then I just go into the portal and pay the tax and NI each month.
That was until they lost my gateway portal account.
Fax them.
Spellcheck?
Genius, genius fucking swearing of the highest fecking order. You, Sir, should be awarded an award . I know not what, but it should be fucking huge and made of unobtanium
AhâŚyou spoiled my finely crafted and set up gag.
Sorry
Too late now. You should have thought of others feelings before you jumped in.
So the cockpunch is all yours mister.