Yet another thread for the purposes of awarding a cockpunch

The English might have all the political power, better weather, longer lifespans and the Premier League but we’ve got the best acronyms :thumbsup:

2 Likes

They may take our lives but they cannot take our acronyms :grinning:

You should have put…

TMTOLBTCTOA

Admit it Dave you’re on the sauce and hitting random letters now :slight_smile:

I have to admit to having a personalised plate. :pensive: It was bought for me by my offsprings and denotes name and year of birth, I can’t let it go as it would cause upset. I am a little conscious of the image a personalised projects but fuck it, I know I’m a cunt and self awareness is everything. :grin:

2 Likes

better that than the dog again

4 Likes

How did you know my dog was called ‘Random Letters’?

3 Likes

Katie Hopkins, just because she’s Katie Hopkins.

8 Likes

Anti-abortion cunts standing outside the hospital grounds “for lent”. All men, so cockpunches so hard it aborts them. Across the road from the entrance leading to the maternity car park. Inconsiderate hateful cunts

12 Likes

Reported in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle U.K. recently:

A lady died this past September, and MBNA bank billed her in October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then in December added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.

The balance that had been £0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank:

Family Member: ‘I am calling to tell you that my grandma died in September.’

MBNA: ‘But the account was never closed and so the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Maybe, you should turn it over to your collections section.’

MBNA: ‘Since it is two months over due, it already has been.’

Family Member: ‘So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’

MBNA: ‘Either report her account to the Frauds Department or report her to The Credit bureau, maybe both!’

Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’

MBNA: ‘Excuse me?’

Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you . . The part about her being dead?’

MBNA: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’

      Supervisor  gets on the phone:

Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in September.’

MBNA: ‘But the account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

MBNA: (Stammer) ‘Are you her solicitor?’

Family Member: ‘No, I’m her grandson’

MBNA: ‘Could you fax us a death certificate?’

Family Member: ‘Sure.’

( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

MBNA: ‘Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’

Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.’

MBNA: ‘Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’

MBNA: ‘That would help.’

Family Member: ’ Plot 1049.’ Heaton Cemetery, Heaton Road , Newcastle upon Tyne

MBNA: ‘But, that’s a cemetery!’

Family Member: 'Well, what the f*** do you do with dead people on your planet?’

The MBNA were not available for comment when a reporter from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle rang them.

16 Likes

Fucking Alitalia.
We’d booked and paid for return flights to Reggio di Calabria for June so Narelle can meet up with her cousins who are coming over from Oz to visit the relatives in Candidoni.
Yesterday I get an email from them announcing that ALL flights in and out of Reggio are cancelled for the summer.
I ring them this morning and ask what alternatives there were. “Oh, itsa OK cossa you canna fly into Catania or Lamezia”. These are a million miles from the family and besides the rental car is booked for Reggio.
Fuck you you cunts !!!

So I ask them to refund the full ticket. "Oh, Ima sorry myster issa no possible-a."
After several transfers to people who may be able to help (or obstruct better), I threaten them with legal action as "they are unable to provide a service for which I have paid."
Much groaning, followed by an email acknowledging a full refund. Oh, it will take up to 15 days for the refund to appear in my account.

Why does a simple transaction have to be so difficult. You cancel flights - offer a reasonable alternative or refund.

Fuck you Alitalia. Fuck you to hell !!!

3 Likes

Make a fist like a rock and punch,
punch until the red mist appears.
Punch until their groins are flat.
All Cyber Goths…

Then punch the air knowing you have done humanity and half of Camden a big favor.

2 Likes

That fucker with the goggles on looks like he has Alien Hand Syndrome.

:ok_hand:t3:

1 Like

:slight_smile:

I like cyber goths, I’d cuddle and protect them…

1 Like

“Cuddling” wouldn’t be my first thought :heart_eyes:

1 Like

I’m being polite

As my Nan once said:

"These Goth people are about as happy as a bastard on Fathers day’

3 Likes

Techno viking wins, start at 3 mins