I once helped Grandmaster Flash set up his turntables at a festival in Pontefract. He weighs his down with quarters. I am not sure where he is going.
George Osborne can have one for being a greedy cunt.
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Itās the conflict of interest which is of most concern. How can a sitting MP be a newspaper editor?
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Is the answer āthe Tories can get away with whatever they like, as the opposition is a fucking shamblesā ?
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Itās a fucking outrage. Never mind that he has his snout in the Black Rock trough to the tune of Ā£650k pa, the family business and now the Evening Standard, he feels he has a divine right to continue receiving his MPās salary. Nothing new here just another Tory taking the piss.
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I would have stopped buying the Evening Standard if it wasnāt free.
Happy fucking clappers 
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Any particular reason other than the obvious?
The obvious will do 
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Are they happy because they clap, or do they clap because they are happy?
Does God like clapping? Iād have thought he was a bit more sophisticated - maybe he prefers a bit of marimba.
Then again, Iāve never heard of anyone saying āAnd God appeared to me, telling me to stop that fucking annoying clappingā.
Itās all so mysterious, dontcha think?
The Old Testament bigs up percussion, plucked strings and brass
āā¦ bring hither the timbrel, the pleasant harp with the pasltery. Blow up the trumpet in the new moon ā¦ā Psalm 81 v 3
Maybe this kind of thing for His birthday ?
VB
Edinburghās underlying finance sectors diminish.
Huge mistake not to fund venues that can make money during honeypot August.
And further into the season.
Friend went to see concert at Queenās Hall last night, which I wait to hear more of.
Itās the only small concert hall around I would care to listen to a small ensemble about here, but comes with dreadful sight lines.
[Donāt know if rebuilt Belle Angele is back to previous top class, best soundstage in town standards.
Festival Theatre ok in a movie/theatre kind of way, but donāt see bands play there.]
Tunnocks. For lacing their tea cakes with crack cocaine.
That can be the only answer that makes sense. Iāve just eaten 4 of the delicious little bastards one after the other, and I swear blind I can hear the last two talking to me. Like the sirens call to sailors of old.
Even having a single Breakaway hasnāt quelled the lust.
I canāt eat all 6 can I ?
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That was rhetorical. I just have.
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Viagogo can have a massive boot to the sac. Not content with fucking us all over with their (allegedly) illegal reselling of tickets, horrendous pricing policies and general cuntishness, they havenāt the spine to show us and justify it all.
Hopefully this will spur our usually supine MPs into actually taking proper action against touts.
500 lashes with the birch in public, followed by being ceremonially disemboweled by hungry gibbons, and then cremated on a rubbish tip would be my recommendation for a first offence. Obviously anybody with a previous record more embarrassing than Mother Theresaās (not the one in No 10) could be dealt with more firmly.
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and in a follow up to the aboveā¦
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They need an additional cockpunch for having a totally wank name. Infact all companies with shit trendy names can get tae fuck.
Go Daddy ā¦ Go to fuck Daddy.
Purple Bricks ā¦Get to fuck.
Trivago ā¦ Get to fuck.
While Iām full of bileā¦ āstreet foodā , and the purveyors of, can fuck off also. It is a mobile cafe run from a trailer. A greasy spoon of old, only you are served by a twat with a trilby and an astronomical price list.
Get to fuck one. Get to fuck all.
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Whatās up with you?
Found a magnet in a copper pipe or summat?
Decent rant btw 
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As an asideā¦ we used to use magnets to locate blockages in heating systems years ago.
Not once, in all that time, did we ever think of putting one in the actual system to catch the fucking magnetite that we were trying our hardest to find and remove.
The guy that did, relatively recently, is now a multimillionaire able to eat street food whenever he likesā¦and he likely sleeps atop a bed of muffins.
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