Unfortunately being anally impaled and frost bitten on the tundra afforded Stronzetto with residual mental blinkers regarding the great outdoors. His criteria for survival now orbits the following requirements. 1) He must stray no further than x3 miles from a shop offering a stout selection of glue. 2) No roaming creatures (this includes AA members, the hairy hand of Dartmoor, anything with four legs and or antlers) 3) No snow. 4) He must remain out of shooting range from Game wardens, park keepers or veterinarians.
I have attempted exposure therapy to sooth Stronzetto's 'blocks' however he breaks out in hives, screams and masturbates furiously.... I'll be sure to bring him