Covfaffe - the road to despair, calling at futility and disappointment

Professor_Chaos · 1 February 2019 20:33

Fuck all this, if I want a decent coffee I visit the eye-talian across the road.

AmDismal · 1 February 2019 20:45

Presumably heading out on your pyjamas is some North American thing

Professor_Chaos · 1 February 2019 20:51

Wayward · 1 February 2019 22:55

edd9000 · 1 February 2019 23:22

Hmmmm I want a Porlex now.

Have fancy thermometer, and scales, suppose I need pour over stuff too.

Wayward · 2 February 2019 01:13

You can make good coffee with an Aeropress, I have tried a few different recipes with subtle variations. In the end I settled on 15grams coffee ground like sea salt/sharp sand - err on the coarser side if anything because emmersion brew reasons. A coarser grind will give you a little more time/ flexibility.

Water at no more than 93°c and 90° will work well. The hotter the water the quicker the extraction.

Remove the basket, Invert brewer, i,e, plunger at bottom, at the opposite end to where the basket screws on, pushed into the sleeve so it is just up to the base of the rubber bit. You do this to avoid an air gap which you get if you use it conventionally. Depending on how gassy your coffee is, this gap can really throw off your brew. The more air, the less water and the more your ratio is fucked.

Put 2 filter papers in the basket- this helps get a ‘cleaner’ cup because it filters better (duh) and also adds a little more pressure. Difficult to describe ‘clean’ but it is a thing. It’s almost like you can taste the water more, I could go further but it’ll only make the natives restless.

Sit the Areopress on your digital scales with the plunger at the bottom as discussed and tip your 15g of fresh ground coffee in. Tare the scales.

Now pour in 30g of hot water (twice the coffee weight) and similtaneously start your timer. Pour GENTLY. This is important. At this stage you need to agitate the grinds but not too much. I pour gently and then stir THREE TIMES with the paddle. You can pour from high and not stir. You can pour the 30 grams of water and then pick the brewer up and swirl. Which ever way, a little agitation at this stage is good. You want to make sure ALL the coffee is wet. I have found gentle pour and three stirs easiest to control/repeat.This is the pre-infusion, bloom, or off-gas stage. Water can’t penetrate the grinds easily until the Co2 has escaped.

When 30 seconds is up, gently pour in water up to the top and screw on the basket with the two filters. Turn the Aeropress upright on top of a mug. Here is another advantage to inverting the Aeropress, the not yet brewed coffee cannot come through the filter because the air won’t flow. It’s fucking annoying otherwise trying to get it in and not loose your drink before the fucker is brewed.

After one minute has elapsed, start pushing gently on the plunger and spend 30 seconds pushing the brewed coffee into the mug. Don’t push the plunger right down to the bottom as you don’t want to wring the grinds, it’ll make the drink bitter - stop when you hear a puff of air escaping. Enjoy your coffee!

30 second bloom, 30 second brew, 30 second plunge. Win.

Wayward · 2 February 2019 01:16

Pour-over = Faff rabbit hole!

J_B · 2 February 2019 08:31

Wayward:

You can make good coffee with an Aeropress, I have tried a few different recipes with subtle variations. In the end I settled on 15grams coffee ground like sea salt/sharp sand - err on the coarser side if anything because emmersion brew reasons. A coarser grind will give you a little more time/ flexibility.

Water at no more than 93°c and 90° will work well. The hotter the water the quicker the extraction.

Remove the basket, Invert brewer, i,e, plunger at bottom, at the opposite end to where the basket screws on, pushed into the sleeve so it is just up to the base of the rubber bit. You do this to avoid an air gap which you get if you use it conventionally. Depending on how gassy your coffee is, this gap can really throw off your brew. The more air, the less water and the more your ratio is fucked.

Put 2 filter papers in the basket- this helps get a ‘cleaner’ cup because it filters better (duh) and also adds a little more pressure. Difficult to describe ‘clean’ but it is a thing. It’s almost like you can taste the water more, I could go further but it’ll only make the natives restless.

Sit the Areopress on your digital scales with the plunger at the bottom as discussed and tip your 15g of fresh ground coffee in. Tare the scales.

Now pour in 30g of hot water (twice the coffee weight) and similtaneously start your timer. Pour GENTLY. This is important. At this stage you need to agitate the grinds but not too much. I pour gently and then stir THREE TIMES with the paddle. You can pour from high and not stir. You can pour the 30 grams of water and then pick the brewer up and swirl. Which ever way, a little agitation at this stage is good. You want to make sure ALL the coffee is wet. I have found gentle pour and three stirs easiest to control/repeat.This is the pre-infusion, bloom, or off-gas stage. Water can’t penetrate the grinds easily until the Co2 has escaped.

When 30 seconds is up, gently pour in water up to the top and screw on the basket with the two filters. Turn the Aeropress upright on top of a mug. Here is another advantage to inverting the Aeropress, the not yet brewed coffee cannot come through the filter because the air won’t flow. It’s fucking annoying otherwise trying to get it in and not loose your drink before the fucker is brewed.

After one minute has elapsed, start pushing gently on the plunger and spend 30 seconds pushing the brewed coffee into the mug. Don’t push the plunger right down to the bottom as you don’t want to wring the grinds, it’ll make the drink bitter - stop when you hear a puff of air escaping. Enjoy your coffee!

30 second bloom, 30 second brew, 30 second plunge. Win.

How d’a mean?

Wayward · 2 February 2019 08:37

coco · 2 February 2019 09:04

Wayward:

You can make good coffee with an Aeropress, I have tried a few different recipes with subtle variations. In the end I settled on 15grams coffee ground like sea salt/sharp sand - err on the coarser side if anything because emmersion brew reasons. A coarser grind will give you a little more time/ flexibility.

Water at no more than 93°c and 90° will work well. The hotter the water the quicker the extraction.

Remove the basket, Invert brewer, i,e, plunger at bottom, at the opposite end to where the basket screws on, pushed into the sleeve so it is just up to the base of the rubber bit. You do this to avoid an air gap which you get if you use it conventionally. Depending on how gassy your coffee is, this gap can really throw off your brew. The more air, the less water and the more your ratio is fucked.

Put 2 filter papers in the basket- this helps get a ‘cleaner’ cup because it filters better (duh) and also adds a little more pressure. Difficult to describe ‘clean’ but it is a thing. It’s almost like you can taste the water more, I could go further but it’ll only make the natives restless.

Sit the Areopress on your digital scales with the plunger at the bottom as discussed and tip your 15g of fresh ground coffee in. Tare the scales.

Now pour in 30g of hot water (twice the coffee weight) and similtaneously start your timer. Pour GENTLY. This is important. At this stage you need to agitate the grinds but not too much. I pour gently and then stir THREE TIMES with the paddle. You can pour from high and not stir. You can pour the 30 grams of water and then pick the brewer up and swirl. Which ever way, a little agitation at this stage is good. You want to make sure ALL the coffee is wet. I have found gentle pour and three stirs easiest to control/repeat.This is the pre-infusion, bloom, or off-gas stage. Water can’t penetrate the grinds easily until the Co2 has escaped.

When 30 seconds is up, gently pour in water up to the top and screw on the basket with the two filters. Turn the Aeropress upright on top of a mug. Here is another advantage to inverting the Aeropress, the not yet brewed coffee cannot come through the filter because the air won’t flow. It’s fucking annoying otherwise trying to get it in and not loose your drink before the fucker is brewed.

After one minute has elapsed, start pushing gently on the plunger and spend 30 seconds pushing the brewed coffee into the mug. Don’t push the plunger right down to the bottom as you don’t want to wring the grinds, it’ll make the drink bitter - stop when you hear a puff of air escaping. Enjoy your coffee!

30 second bloom, 30 second brew, 30 second plunge. Win.

Or just use it to make coffee.

Jim · 2 February 2019 09:54

i wouldn’t be able to afford that much coffee…

AmDismal · 2 February 2019 09:54

Wayward:

You can make good coffee with an Aeropress, I have tried a few different recipes with subtle variations. In the end I settled on 15grams coffee ground like sea salt/sharp sand - err on the coarser side if anything because emmersion brew reasons. A coarser grind will give you a little more time/ flexibility.

Water at no more than 93°c and 90° will work well. The hotter the water the quicker the extraction.

Remove the basket, Invert brewer, i,e, plunger at bottom, at the opposite end to where the basket screws on, pushed into the sleeve so it is just up to the base of the rubber bit. You do this to avoid an air gap which you get if you use it conventionally. Depending on how gassy your coffee is, this gap can really throw off your brew. The more air, the less water and the more your ratio is fucked.

Put 2 filter papers in the basket- this helps get a ‘cleaner’ cup because it filters better (duh) and also adds a little more pressure. Difficult to describe ‘clean’ but it is a thing. It’s almost like you can taste the water more, I could go further but it’ll only make the natives restless.

Sit the Areopress on your digital scales with the plunger at the bottom as discussed and tip your 15g of fresh ground coffee in. Tare the scales.

Now pour in 30g of hot water (twice the coffee weight) and similtaneously start your timer. Pour GENTLY. This is important. At this stage you need to agitate the grinds but not too much. I pour gently and then stir THREE TIMES with the paddle. You can pour from high and not stir. You can pour the 30 grams of water and then pick the brewer up and swirl. Which ever way, a little agitation at this stage is good. You want to make sure ALL the coffee is wet. I have found gentle pour and three stirs easiest to control/repeat.This is the pre-infusion, bloom, or off-gas stage. Water can’t penetrate the grinds easily until the Co2 has escaped.

When 30 seconds is up, gently pour in water up to the top and screw on the basket with the two filters. Turn the Aeropress upright on top of a mug. Here is another advantage to inverting the Aeropress, the not yet brewed coffee cannot come through the filter because the air won’t flow. It’s fucking annoying otherwise trying to get it in and not loose your drink before the fucker is brewed.

After one minute has elapsed, start pushing gently on the plunger and spend 30 seconds pushing the brewed coffee into the mug. Don’t push the plunger right down to the bottom as you don’t want to wring the grinds, it’ll make the drink bitter - stop when you hear a puff of air escaping. Enjoy your coffee!

30 second bloom, 30 second brew, 30 second plunge. Win.

Forum tagline

MGOwner · 2 February 2019 12:23

Wayward:

You can make good coffee with an Aeropress, I have tried a few different recipes with subtle variations. In the end I settled on 15grams coffee ground like sea salt/sharp sand - err on the coarser side if anything because emmersion brew reasons. A coarser grind will give you a little more time/ flexibility.

Water at no more than 93°c and 90° will work well. The hotter the water the quicker the extraction.

Remove the basket, Invert brewer, i,e, plunger at bottom, at the opposite end to where the basket screws on, pushed into the sleeve so it is just up to the base of the rubber bit. You do this to avoid an air gap which you get if you use it conventionally. Depending on how gassy your coffee is, this gap can really throw off your brew. The more air, the less water and the more your ratio is fucked.

Put 2 filter papers in the basket- this helps get a ‘cleaner’ cup because it filters better (duh) and also adds a little more pressure. Difficult to describe ‘clean’ but it is a thing. It’s almost like you can taste the water more, I could go further but it’ll only make the natives restless.

Sit the Areopress on your digital scales with the plunger at the bottom as discussed and tip your 15g of fresh ground coffee in. Tare the scales.

Now pour in 30g of hot water (twice the coffee weight) and similtaneously start your timer. Pour GENTLY. This is important. At this stage you need to agitate the grinds but not too much. I pour gently and then stir THREE TIMES with the paddle. You can pour from high and not stir. You can pour the 30 grams of water and then pick the brewer up and swirl. Which ever way, a little agitation at this stage is good. You want to make sure ALL the coffee is wet. I have found gentle pour and three stirs easiest to control/repeat.This is the pre-infusion, bloom, or off-gas stage. Water can’t penetrate the grinds easily until the Co2 has escaped.

When 30 seconds is up, gently pour in water up to the top and screw on the basket with the two filters. Turn the Aeropress upright on top of a mug. Here is another advantage to inverting the Aeropress, the not yet brewed coffee cannot come through the filter because the air won’t flow. It’s fucking annoying otherwise trying to get it in and not loose your drink before the fucker is brewed.

After one minute has elapsed, start pushing gently on the plunger and spend 30 seconds pushing the brewed coffee into the mug. Don’t push the plunger right down to the bottom as you don’t want to wring the grinds, it’ll make the drink bitter - stop when you hear a puff of air escaping. Enjoy your coffee!

30 second bloom, 30 second brew, 30 second plunge. Win.

tl:dr

crimsondonkey · 2 February 2019 12:34

Wayward:

You can make good coffee with an Aeropress, I have tried a few different recipes with subtle variations. In the end I settled on 15grams coffee ground like sea salt/sharp sand - err on the coarser side if anything because emmersion brew reasons. A coarser grind will give you a little more time/ flexibility.

Water at no more than 93°c and 90° will work well. The hotter the water the quicker the extraction.

Remove the basket, Invert brewer, i,e, plunger at bottom, at the opposite end to where the basket screws on, pushed into the sleeve so it is just up to the base of the rubber bit. You do this to avoid an air gap which you get if you use it conventionally. Depending on how gassy your coffee is, this gap can really throw off your brew. The more air, the less water and the more your ratio is fucked.

Put 2 filter papers in the basket- this helps get a ‘cleaner’ cup because it filters better (duh) and also adds a little more pressure. Difficult to describe ‘clean’ but it is a thing. It’s almost like you can taste the water more, I could go further but it’ll only make the natives restless.

Sit the Areopress on your digital scales with the plunger at the bottom as discussed and tip your 15g of fresh ground coffee in. Tare the scales.

Now pour in 30g of hot water (twice the coffee weight) and similtaneously start your timer. Pour GENTLY. This is important. At this stage you need to agitate the grinds but not too much. I pour gently and then stir THREE TIMES with the paddle. You can pour from high and not stir. You can pour the 30 grams of water and then pick the brewer up and swirl. Which ever way, a little agitation at this stage is good. You want to make sure ALL the coffee is wet. I have found gentle pour and three stirs easiest to control/repeat.This is the pre-infusion, bloom, or off-gas stage. Water can’t penetrate the grinds easily until the Co2 has escaped.

When 30 seconds is up, gently pour in water up to the top and screw on the basket with the two filters. Turn the Aeropress upright on top of a mug. Here is another advantage to inverting the Aeropress, the not yet brewed coffee cannot come through the filter because the air won’t flow. It’s fucking annoying otherwise trying to get it in and not loose your drink before the fucker is brewed.

After one minute has elapsed, start pushing gently on the plunger and spend 30 seconds pushing the brewed coffee into the mug. Don’t push the plunger right down to the bottom as you don’t want to wring the grinds, it’ll make the drink bitter - stop when you hear a puff of air escaping. Enjoy your coffee!

30 second bloom, 30 second brew, 30 second plunge. Win.

You forgot to mention having to stop to go turn the record over.

coco · 2 February 2019 12:38

Do you have any specific procedure for turning on a light switch? I’m concerned that I might not be doing it right, and thus not getting the best quality of light.

chelseadave · 2 February 2019 12:45

Porsche Coffee Machine.

Porsche Flat Six expresso machine

J_B · 2 February 2019 12:46

Does it fit onto the dashboard?

Tons_of_fun · 2 February 2019 12:47

I too would like to know if this can be applied to things like making a sandwich, cleaning a toilet or de-fleaing a household pet. I fear I won’t die soon enough and would like to kill some time.

Wayward · 2 February 2019 13:00

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Jim · 2 February 2019 13:05

Pah, where’s the V8 version?