The dog absolutely makes it !
VB
Very good, but the Starfish is a bit high up on the back.
pump up valve
Used to work with a chap who - judging by the horrifying state he used to leave Trap #2 in - had his starfish in exactly that position…
…either that or he used to shit while doing a handstand.
I tried to make my computer password “Beef Stew” but it was rejected.
Apparently it wasn’t stroganoff.
Don’t forget owners of Collie dogs, you can’t walk them on Monday.
It’s Ban Collie Day.
Please do not knock on my door & talk about God.
I do not knock on your door & talk about wanking, Joanna Lumley & Abbot Ale.
A bloke goes to the council to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him “Are you allergic to anything”?
“Yes, caffeine.” He replies.
“Have you ever worked for the public service before?”
“Yes I was in the army” he says, “I was in Iraq for two tours.”
“That gives you 5 extra points towards employment.” The interviewer says.
Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”
The bloke replies “Yes, a mine detonated under me and I lost both my testicles.”
The interviewer grimaces and says, “O.K…”
“You’ve got enough points for me to take you on right away.”
“Our normal hours are from 8am to 4pm, but you can start tomorrow at 10am - and carry on starting at 10am every day.”
The bloke is puzzled and asks. “If the work hours are from 8-4, why don’t you want me here until 10? I’m not looking for any special treatment y’know!”
“What you have to understand is that this is a council job,” the interviewer says,
“For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. Not a lot of point you coming in for that…”
