I figure now it’s called Landfill of utter drivel…
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FFS ! I support this thread unreservedly. But reposting shit which has already been posted here 100s of times will result in a ban 
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I am very sorry Terry but I hadn’t seen it before.
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Sucking up won’t help. Bribery might though 
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I thought of putting this on Local News.
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Joke of the year at the Edinburgh fringe
"I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ - I think I might have Florets".
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A guy sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of chili.
The waitress says, “Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl”.
He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, “Are you going to eat that chili?”
The other guy says, “No. Help yourself”.
He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got, too”.
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A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, “Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows.”
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“Why are you standing on newspapers?” “My feet are wet. These are the Times that dry men’s soles.”
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I guess plagiarism is the highest form of flattery
Then no one at the Edinburgh Fringe noticed
Spookily close to what Oscar Wilde once said
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Allegedly this was seen on the Cairnryan to Larne Ferry* on Saturday
Ulster says NO! yet again…
*I do not know or care if such a ferry service exists. I’ve been to Larne once and that was sufficient.
I’m from Larne and that was more than sufficient.
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Oops, sorry Cosmo.
No apology required, I haven’t been back there for 20+ years.
Also, a travel guide once said that the only good reason to go there is to catch a ferry to Scotland. 
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