Looks like a Ford to me…
3 Likes
We did this conversation last year.
I may well be. But 84th, not 83rd.
i thought he was the one with the paper bag on his head.
I remember Warren his next door neighbour with the nest of rabbits on his head
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man as he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:
“My God! I know who that man is - it’s Jesus himself!” The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.
The Irishman calls out across the lounge. “Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?”
Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. “Yes, I am Jesus.” He says.
The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him. “I’d like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me.” The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks.
Then the Australian calls out. “Oy! Cunt! D’ya reckon you’re Jesus then?”
Jesus nods and says. “Yes, I am Jesus.”
The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure.
The Scouser then calls out. “Hoi yous, would you be Jesus den?”
Jesus smiles and says. “Yes, I am Jesus.”
The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table.
Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement…
“Holy Mary! Me arthritis is gone! The arthur I’ve had for years is gone! Sure it’s a miracle.”
Jesus then shakes the Australian’s hand, thanking him for the lager.
Upon letting go, the Australian’s eyes widen in shock. “Crikey mate! The migraine! The migraine I’ve had for 40 years is completely gone! It’s a bleedin’ miracle!”
Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says.
“Back off, mate! I’m on the Disability!”
10 Likes
Man with a seagull on his head?
Man with a wooden head?
Man with 2 wooden heads?
Man with 3 wooden heads?
Man with 4 wooden heads?
Pinched
Yep, they should get the sack for selling those…
1 Like
That’s just bollocks.
1 Like
Not much gets past you two early on a Saturday morning…
2 Likes
It’s a Saturday in lockdown, I’m stuck indoors with no system. What the fuck else am I supposed to do 
What the fuck else am I supposed to do
Not torture the rest of us!
1 Like
Also appears to be missing an apostrophe…
Meh!