My obese parrot died. What a weight off my shoulder.
Explaining to a child that we’re mortal and that death is inescapable is the part of being a party clown I find hardest.
I’m sure there should be one more ‘to do’ before the ‘doooo’.
That’s superb! Haha! And accurate
Fush and chups 
my son likes the Jamaican Bacon one
Say “Beer Can” in your poshest etonian accent and it’s pretty close to a Jamaican saying ‘bacon’
The Bacon Tree
Two Jamaican badmen are walking through a rural area.
They’re on the run from the police, and haven’t eaten anything for days.
They see a tree in the distance, and as they get closer, they notice that it’s draped with rashers of bacon, smoked bacon, crispy bacon, boiled bacon, grilled bacon, all sorts of bacon.
“Look deh!”, says the first badman, “A bacon tree! And we ah dead fe hungry!”
So he starts to run toward the tree. As he gets close, he’s gunned down in a hail of bullets.
He’s lying wounded on the ground, and his friend shouts, “Wha’appen? Wha’appen? A who?”
The first badman replies, 'Nuh come yah man! A nuh bacon tree, is a ham bush!"
It’s Mexicans in a ridiculous Mexican accent, this joke had been stolen your honour.
I think you mean copy & pasted.
Dancing
