Fatberg of utter drivel and fekin' fish puns a.k.a Jim's jokes (Part 1)

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”

“What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”

And so they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

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Time to resurrect this I feel…

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Watching the Olympics as I am sure we all are, I was surprised to see Craig David was one of Team GB’s archery coaches. He was apparently the ‘bow selector’…??!

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Especially as I just noticed this joke had already been posted in the Olympics thread!

Ah well, if it’s been posted elsewhere…
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Stewart Henderson:
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A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits. With friends like that who needs NME’s?

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