I feel ashamed*
*No I don’t.
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Otters improve everything.
EVERY.
THING.
So you are forgiven.
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An Otter, sorting stuff out.
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A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit…
The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man looks good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She gives the mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly…
She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied… You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’
To her astonishment, the mortician returns the blank check. ‘There’s no charge,’ she says.
‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.
‘Honestly,’ the mortician says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’
‘So I just switched the heads.’
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Got a couple of new tenners today at a decent discount. Need to be careful though, there are loads of forgeries about.
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Went to a great do last night - the local Scottish and Chinese communities got together for a joint version of their annual celebrations for Burns and New Year.
They called it Chinese Burns Night. I wasn’t gonna go, but they twisted my arm.
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I see what you did there Jim!
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I saw what he did there 4 years ago, the last time this was posted!
Party poopers r us 
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Here’s another one from 4 years ago 
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