Fatberg of utter drivel and fekin' fish puns a.k.a Jim's jokes

Apple’s attempts to make a car have now stopped, apparently the biggest problem was that they couldn’t install windows.

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1000009289

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My condolences to Sheila’s family.

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Does anyone know how many dead people it takes to change a light bulb?

It’s defiinitely more than four, because it’s still dark in the cellar.

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“Do you want to see my Willy?”

Wrong forum :wink:

Grindr is that way :point_right:

Teacher caught my son chewing on an electrical cable.
Luckily he’s still a live, but I had to ground 'im when I got 'ohm.
Seems to have worked, he’s currently conducting himself properly.

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A new Andy Fairweather :clap::clap::clap:

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@Griffo @Gyroscope

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I was assigned male at birth & identify as a man, but according to the back of a mac & cheese box I’m a family of four.

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Teacher: Hi, sorry to call, but is that Johnnie’s mother I’m speaking to?
Parent: Yes, that’s right.
Teacher: Well, I’m his music teacher and I’m calling to let you know that it looks like we’ve got a real little Elvis Presley on our hands!
Parent: Oh, wow! I knew he liked singing, but do you really think he’s that good?!
Teacher: Oh god no… What I mean is we’ve just found the fat cunt dead on the toilet.

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