I suggest a pre-emptive strike
What ? Burn the village down myself 
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You do have birds on the curtains!
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Yes - Louise liked then!!
The cat sitter sent me this nice pic of the cats under the table. Joy in the foreground and Lepa behind.
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Must be the easiest fucking job on the planet.
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my neighbour does it in exchange for a copious amount of Guinness
they can be attention seeking trolls sometimes.
they have spent the morning chasing a leaf round the house - wrecking everything in their path
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Any cat sitter would need substantial liability insurance to cope with the risk that your cat trolls present to both soft and hard furnishings, as well as any technology not cat-proofed (where feasible).
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that is so spot on
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