Fatberg of utter drivel and fekin' fish puns a.k.a Jim's jokes

Got humour?

1 Like

In case you’re wondering, the previous “joke” thread was just cocoed…

By you, you fat fingered numb nuts. :rofl:

next time you grab my phone, be careful what menu is open, lol.

8 Likes

I wouldn’t trust the mods in this place with a bog roll even if I had two.

1 Like

I’ve got something I want to get off my chest.

Moobs.

2 Likes

People say I’m condescending. That means I talk down to people.

2 Likes

Murderer, charlatan. Desecration!!! :rage:

Fuck’s sake @Jim.

For the avoidance of doubt:

Pete: “I happened to have the admin buttons open, Jim grabbed my phone and fat fingered the delete button”

Me and Jim: “Pete’s a cunt”

1 Like

Im a cunt because you pressed the buttons, right?

:rofl::grinning:

1 Like

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

4 Likes

What do you call a lady who can juggle 5 pints and play snooker with her feet at the same time?

Beatrix Potter

3 Likes

10 Likes

Stool sample !

11 Likes

:thinking:

The mods are off their rockers.

1 Like

Accurater

2 Likes

Jim’s fingers ?

image

4 Likes

It’s all right. I think between the regulars we should be able to remember most of it. Give us a day or two and it will be recovered.

VB

4 Likes

You just don’t udderstand what happened :roll_eyes:

2 Likes