Well then, that was a fuck up
You weren’t joking about having been drinking 
Yerfink
Some girl in the Euro dress 
The Irish singers camel toe :o
This is the best thread ever. More of this sort of thing please. 
Well I’m enjoying this thread a whole lot more than discovering this morning that Hel and her sister have arranged for me to host them a Eurovision party at our house this weekend, including snacks, nibbles, a meal and a steady stream of cocktails. Fuck my weary life.
Morning boss,am I stacking aisles 4 and 5 today
No Sharon,can you dress up as a circus ring master,and sing Eurovision songs of the last 50 years?
Don’t know why you’re laughing dawn,you’re handing out cheese stood next her.
Are they also insisting on desecrating the hifi by playing it through the system?
Still on topicish ’ The frog chorus’
Catherine Tate to announce the results of the UK jury. I really hope she does it using her Nan character
Not a fucking chance. With any luck the guests will be set up in the garden room well away from my system.
The wife’s cousin and her wife, massive (in every sense of the word) lesbians, are staying with MiL and so are obviously forcing her to watch Eurovision.
The WhatsApp is pinging approx every 3 seconds, and I suspect that the ~135 dB sound pressure levels that they are undoubtedly generating will contravene the Geneva Convention.
Just wait until Saturday 
Another cousin, in Luxembourg, is apparently also forcing her (jazzer pianist / guitarist) boyfriend to watch it.
She’s a handsome woman, but can easily hit ~160 dB on her own. He may now be starting to understand his huge mistake.
Tis the one evening that surpasses all the rest of the years evenings.
Fuck you, all ye naysayers
I shall be attending the full dress rehearsal tomorrow night, thank you Mrs. S for obtaining tickets 
. After watching the knockout rounds through gritted teeth and cupped hands, my enthusiasm knows no bounds. It will be a long night.