Mince Pie Revisionist. Hypocrisy, Cognitive Dissonance and Flaked Almonds

[htm_1968]

@coco

Mince pies are frankly fucking boring, so anything that possibly makes them more interesting has to be welcome.

I have reported you to the Home Office as a recidivist.

[Jim]

@htm_1968

What about the Pineapple Stasi

@coco needs to get a pet to help him de-stress.

[coco]

I’ll just leave this here to make the traditionalist’s heads explode.

https://www.intolerantgourmand.com/rec/105-mince-pie-cake.html

[edd9000]

Mrs edd9000 May be trolling me. Will eat it anyway.

[pmac]

That looks bloody lovely

[murrayjohnson]

Indeed, but not with mince pies.

Clotted cream or, at a push, double cream are the accompaniments of choice.

[Ruprecht]

"So, being a foodie, and loving coming up with new ideas, I started to wonder …

See, this right here is where it all goes to shit. I would humbly submit cunts step away from their minds with their hands up. No sudden fucking movements or the next thing they will taste is the brine of my knotted wet rope.

[murrayjohnson]

@Ruprecht

Succulent yet not overtly sweet you place the pie in a bowel. You consider the pie, memories of childhood swirl across the mirror of the mind. A gentleman’s measure of cream rests coyly to hand. You pour the cream and salivate at the promise of pleasure. At lightening speed you take a fork and mash that little bastard to smithereens to make a glorious pate and repeat.

So much rong here, it’s difficult to know where to start. The kind of cream that should correctly accompany the mince pie isn’t so vulgar that it can be ‘poured’ anywhere. It has to be placed.

As a secondary note, you’ve evidently spent too many recent years mashing food up for infants. The pie is not to be mashed.

[murrayjohnson]

Mad woman makes festive omelette including mincemeat & kilo of icing sugar.

Soon, all your omelettes can look like Fannies.

Terrifying harridan

[Ruprecht]

@murrayjohnson

The pie is not to be mashed.

As a pie underling I have yet to develop the ‘deep throat’ approach requiring no mastication. Instead I have found mashing saves energy and is therefor a more efficient method of pie delivery whilst also ensuring equal disbursement of pie to cream.

[stu]

@murrayjohnson

all your omelettes can look like Fannies.

2020s strapline sorted

[murrayjohnson]

The original line was by Fanny’s husband & co-presenter Johnny saying similar after she’d done a segment making doughnuts. “You can have doughnuts just like Fanny’s”

[pmac]

What a fucking abomination.

The omelette looks shit too.

[crimsondonkey]

@murrayjohnson

“You can have doughnuts just like Fanny’s”

And vice versa.

[coco]

@Ruprecht

"So, being a foodie, and loving coming up with new ideas, I started to wonder …

See, this right here is where it all goes to shit. I would humbly submit cunts step away from their minds with their hands up. No sudden fucking movements or the next thing they will taste is the brine of my knotted wet rope.

I bet the inventor of the mince pie was also derided for daring to concoct such a creation. He probably died alone and destitute.

Progress cannot not be stopped by imagination-less traditionalist conformists. The experiments must continue.

[edd9000]

@coco

inventor of the mince pie

Probably a shaftsman.

[MrKettle]

@coco

the inventor of the mince pie

No such thing, it evolved and refined itself as a result of economic factors.

[coco]

@MrKettle

@coco

the inventor of the mince pie

No such thing, it evolved and refined itself as a result of economic factors.

Yes, mince pies are like skynet. Perhaps yours have too much alcohol?

Or perhaps people took something and tried new things with it. I’m sure the traditionalists were just as outraged, it’s just that they couldn’t whine on the internet in those days how these new fangled things are going cause the downfall of society.

Won’t someone think of the children.

[MrKettle]

@coco

mince pies are like skynet.

You think @anon14766838 would be alive if mince pies were sentient and had weapons?

[anon14766838]

@Valvebloke

But I can think of someone who would eat it anyway …

eh?

Anyway, given this is a thing:

I am tempted to load up my next version with bacon.