More shit that doesn't merit its own thread (septic tank overflow alert)

:upside_down_face:

Cheeky little troll to get the weekend started. Shouldn’t you be golfering on the golfist pitch about now?

2 Likes

Why? :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Best not to look too deep down that rabbit hole :smile:

2 Likes

7b941cdfe08f6a3b606413a96b969ea4

4 Likes

Anyone remember the poetress Pam Ayres? Well, she’s 73 and still going strong. This is her latest ode to coronavirus…

I’m normally a social girl
I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here
We can’t go out the gates.

You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now
We need to stay inside
If they haven’t seen us for a while
They’ll think we’ve upped and died.

They’ll never know the things we did
Before we got this old
There wasn’t any Facebook
So not everything was told.

We may seem sweet old ladies
Who would never be uncouth
But we grew up in the 60s -
If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll
The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied
And were quite outrageous flirts.

Then we settled down, got married
And turned into someone’s mum,
Somebody’s wife, then nana,
Who on earth did we become?

We didn’t mind the change of pace
Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we’re dead
Is like a red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside
For four weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again
Then I had to close the door!

It didn’t really bother me
I’d while away the hour
I’d bake for all the family
But I’ve got no flaming flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful
I like a gutsy thriller
I’m swooning over Idris
Or some random sexy killer.

At least I’ve got a stash of booze
For when I’m being idle
There’s wine and whiskey, even gin
If I’m feeling suicidal!

So let’s all drink to lockdown
To recovery and health
And hope this awful virus
Doesn’t decimate our wealth.

We’ll all get through the crisis
And be back to join our mates
Just hoping I’m not far too wide
To fit through the flaming gates!

12 Likes

Ah… Dear old Pammie, my first MILF :heart_eyes:

image

3 Likes
2 Likes

They are both completely doolally.

DOOLALLY !

2 Likes

8 Likes

@A_Touch_of_Cloth is our resident champion i reckon his secret is now blown with this mornings limoncello confession

1 Like

Should be in the Crack Snack thread really.

4 Likes

Fuck you ya fucking fuck.

No offence. :slight_smile:

2 Likes

None taken

1 Like

Good. Because I’ve drank a litre of the stuff and in fucked

1 Like

Proper fucked.

4 Likes

Don’t forget my poachers pocket. I will call it a loss after this…

Or a saviour .,.

1 Like

I’ll message you when both my eyes are looking in the same direction.

2 Likes

Any idea where I can get some of these speaker connectors from